September 2010
Dear All
No time to chat, but as Vicky’s Updates have finished lots of spare time to read this missive!!
Hopefully, you will find Missive 22 attached which explains all!!
Love
Roger
rogerhiggs@hotmail.co.uk
Mes chers amis
Time is once again my master ~ albeit briefly!! Mini Missive 22
“To choose time is to save time!”
Francis Bacon – oh no it’s him again! More about him to follow in the future!!
“Time spent laughing is time spent with the Gods.”
A rather apt Japanese proverb as we are spending time catching up with family and friends!
The bare bones of the full unexpurgated version of this missive was there, just not the time to meet the “end of the month deadline,” with visits here there and everywhere, the odd DIY project (helping to tile some of Daniel and Lisa’s kitchen) and the odd Pet Shop delivery to make. Yes, we’re back in York, and due to major problems with the car (thankfully being sorted out by Linda’s nephew who is a master mechanic and comes cheaper than Vauxhall!!) we are staying longer than originally planned. This together with dental work, for us both, that is to be done back in Stroud next week, it’s proving to be an expensive visit back to “dear old blighty!” So, with all this activity this month’s missive is to be really no more than a brief (relatively!!) diary entry!
Our first few days lulled us into a false sense of security, as the warm Vendée sunshine followed us over La Manche, but now the weather that we try to forget about and the French regularly talk about, has caught up with us and it’s cold, wet, windy and miserable. People often ask us what we miss about England, funnily enough the weather rarely features in our short list: family, friends, beer and bacon!! But, it’s good to be back and catch up with people particularly Victoria who as readers of her “China Update’s” will know has returned from her Far Eastern ventures and as always has much to say, now a good deal of it in Mandarin Chinese!! We had also seen even less of Daniel and Lisa during this time, as he’s too busy to Skype, usually occasionally telephoning instead!
Debris in the road
We had largely a good journey back, leaving as we often do in the wee small hours, to get to the early morning ferry – this time from Roscoff to Plymouth, an expensive crossing but as we were heading towards Plymouth and our reunion with Victoria, it saved lots of miles, petrol and more importantly time! We did however, again, manage to hit some debris in the road – this time a large remould tyre that had come off a lorry, which although fortunately not causing an accident did manage to bring an engine management light on and subsequently require a new exhaust heat sensor, quick to fit but a snip at £106!!!
It was slightly strange, as we hadn’t seen Victoria for nearly 7 months, but due to Skype technology had actually “seen” more of her via webcam during the preceding months than we would normally do when she is in England, so the we were not totally surprised to find she had lost some weight, but it was good to give her a hug, something that computer technology hasn’t yet perfected!!
Victoria had planned to meet us off the ferry, but had discovered on her return that her course had started for real on the induction day, which was not a one off as she had thought, so barely had she landed back in the UK before she was once more embarking on the next college journey. But after a hasty scrabble to get her pre-course work completed she is now sailing along well and looking forward to her first placement in a Plymstock school that she has already visited twice before, when doing presentations in her role as Projects Abroad Plymouth Rep!
A good couple of days with Dermot and Victoria, including a delicious Chinese banquet she prepared using recipes and skills taught to her by Bee, her Chinese teacher when she was in Weinan, and shopping for essentials; Fairy Liquid, Shower Gel, Disinfectant Spray, Paracetamol, Spices, Bras and much more from greatly missed emporiums such as, Wilkinsons, The Range, and Primark!! Basically, some things just aren’t available or don’t come cheap in France, much to the amusement of customs on our way home!! Then we headed up to Gloucestershire for the first “Vendée Vintner” drop off!! Visitors who have flown in during the summer have taken advantage of us having a nearly empty car for our holiday in the UK, so much so that the nearly empty car became a nearly full car!!
Further pieces on the route
Not, I must hastily add, suggesting any of the following to be debris, just the flotsam and jetsam of life’s rich flow – not sure it that’s much better!! Next stop was my Mum and Dad’s to unload much of the car and a brief cup of tea, then over to Stroud to see Daniel and Lisa and to check out the tiling job and having told them that tiling was really easy, perhaps we hadn’t banked on 10 centimetre square tiles with random wiggly edges, which at the corners completely threw out the spacers, thus rendering them impossible to use!
The next day coffee in Mill’s Café, our favourite in Stroud, to meet up with various friends and to surprise others who chanced upon us, surprised as they thought we were still in France – it’s difficult to let everyone know our plans and where we will be when, not least because we’re not always sure!! But if we were lucky enough to bump into you, it was great to catch up on all the news!
Tiling was on the agenda for the following day and the one after if needed, fitted in around a luncheon invite with more friends and further talking and news gleaning!
Dental appointments also featured somewhere along the line, which necessitated further “second mortgage applications!!” And, with the tiles and grout successfully completed, (were filling teeth so easy you could DIY!) and we were once more on the road, heading north this time with York and Linda’s family firmly in our sights.
Arriving safely, the car was condemned largely due to a damaged tyre – a small nick obviously caused by hitting the debris and we were into the next round of catching up with everyone’s news, whilst suffering from increasing shock as the bill for the car grew at an alarming rate!! It also meant that we had to extend our stay to allow what was a long job to be completed, before the long journey south. But, it did give us even more time to see people, shop for life’s essentials in the form of more spices that we hadn’t managed to get before and as some of the family were off to the Norfolk Broads a few days after we arrived, a chance to reacquaint myself with the Pet Shop boys. This involved a few transactions, help lugging out the hutches and bird tables that are each day displayed outside the shop, a bit of sweeping and mopping at the end of the day, as well as just a few deliveries – although not a gender realignment or deaf old lady in sight. I was however, met at one house in the middle of the afternoon by a young lady in bedroom attire, but before you jump to any assumptions, she was wearing thick fleecy pyjamas and a thick tightly fastened fleecy dressing gown – would it have been different for the regular delivery boy I found myself wondering!!!
In order to make the end of month deadline, that’s it for now, but we still have a couple of weeks of our visit left, so who knows what adventures are ahead!!
Shakespeare
Mention of the great bard and Francis Bacon in the same missive is not unplanned, much thought and preparation go into these humble offerings!! Much as it might seem like these literary ramblings gems are thrown together, this summer both the aforementioned have featured largely as well as coincidentally, in our lives, but for the full explanation, you will have to wait for the next missive (see below), or if you can’t wait and want a flavour visit Wikipedia and type in Francis Bacon, or if you want the whole meal, follow the many and varied leads and links, but be prepared, if you like tales of mystery and intrigue, to get hooked.
Just however, time and space to record the latest of many such coincidences. In York yesterday, passing “The Works” we were inexplicably drawn into the shop, only to find the first book I saw was a copy of Bill Byson’s “Shakespeare.” Obviously, another sign and yet another piece of an ever increasing jigsaw!!
People
Along the way you are forever meeting all kinds of people, but we seem to have an uncanny knack of attracting interesting characters, be it M. from the chateau (lots more about him next time – by popular request!!) or the, am I allowed to say “oddball?” who struck up a conversation with us at the bus stop yesterday! Her opening line was something to do with how the world was “full of sucking (sic) people of all sorts, some sucking drug takers and the like!” She went on to say that all such sucking people should be allowed on the bus and only those people who sucking smell horrible should be made to get off the bus. Her philosophy of life then continued along the lines of unless you were fortunate enough to be a private car owner and could therefore choose who to travel with, you should accept that people are all different and put up with sharing the bus with all sorts, unless of course they smell! Our wholehearted agreement was unfortunately stretched as; when we got on the bus we choose to sit some distance from her!! I then thought that perhaps her “sucking monologues,” seemingly for the benefit of anyone who would listen, had probably got her thrown off the last bus and the injustice of it, for as far as I could tell she didn’t smell! Despite not sitting next to her, my thoughts were far more charitable than those of my travelling partner who suggested that she had possibly just been thrown out of a mental institution (here we probably have to blame the present coalition government for another hatchet job!). I couldn’t help feeling that for whatever reason, for her life obviously sucks!
My original “thought!”
Unfortunately, my rather ancient mobile phone has succumbed to age and started to function erratically, just like its owner I hear you all think and I say before you can!!! So in order to stay in touch with all my many followers!!!, a new and cheap phone was needed. Tescos came to the rescue, helped by staff discount, and I now have a new £19 phone, which a few days before had been sold for £14!! Apart from the possible ethical issues, how can a small slim line phone have the following “key features:” MP3 player, FM Radio, Camera, video recording, long life battery mobile tracker, SOS message and Bluetooth as well as operate as a phone and be produced for so little? Mind you it nearly went back, as I got to the last of 20 preset ringtones before I found one I could live with!! But then a younger, more technologically minded, family member told me I could always Bluetooth any number of other ringtones!! I fancy Frank Sinatra’s “My Way,” but think it will only happen if someone else does it their way!!
But one quick final thought, not attributable to me, but rather someone unknown! “We are too busy mopping the floor to turn off the faucet!”
Kind regards, Best Wishes and Love,
Roger and Linda
And maybe to come next time? Hopefully I’ll be back on track with “The Summer of Content” maybe including such gems as “The Bard – Is this a ghost I see before me!” “Sizzling sun at Royan” and “Further Soggy Adventures!” if we’ve dried out by then!!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Missive 21 ~ More of "The Chronicle."
August 2010
Dear All
Hopefully you will find Missive 21 attached, just in time for the end of the month, campsite technology permitting!?! We are currently having a few days away in the newly registered caravan, using up some camping cheques we had when we first came to France, so I’m relying on the campsite Wee Fee (or Wi Fi to the rest of you), again the wonders of modern technology!
We are staying on a site very close to the beach just south of Royan, at the mouth of the Gironde estuary. We are going home on Saturday, then have about 10 days before we return to England on the 15th September for about a month. Hopefully we will catch up with lots of you then, although we are as always flying “here, there and everywhere” around the country visiting family and friends. As things stand we are around Stroud the weekend of 18th September and maybe a couple of days later in the visit so may see some of you then.
It’s the jam / chutney making in earnest season at the moment, and we are rapidly running out of jars again. If we are likely to see you during our visit – ALL JAM JARS GRATEFULLY RECEIVED!!!
Love
Roger
rogerhiggs@hotmail.co.uk
Mes chers amis
More of “The Chronicle” ~ Missive 21
“There is a terrible English word, ‘sensible. I cannot bear this ‘sensible,’ it has nothing to do with the senses.”
Said by a Spanish Lover in Joanna Trollop’s book of the same name.
“It’s time to start living the life you’ve imagined.” Henry James.
To pick up briefly on the theme of “Finding the Higgs” (Missive 19), I have since we moved here sent our many visitors simplified routes of how to find us in the back of beyond. On all of these I tend to go by the names of the next destination and where I use road numbers issue a “public service announcement” suggesting that the road number may have a different letter prefixing it or be totally different to what appears on the map or the number I suggest!!. Indeed, the French road numbering system remains to me, and many others, another of France’s mysteries (see below). But read on – finding us couldn’t be easier!!
It was therefore no surprise to find the following line in an article in The French Paper, a relatively new and rather interesting English language newspaper: “French road numbering is unsystematic and can be very confusing (!)” But the same article goes on to explain “E” numbers, not those in processed food that have in some cases the reputation of sending children totally doolally!!, but rather the United Nations international E – road network.
Basically, if you are trying to get to us from the SW:
• Pick up the E 05 at Oxford and turn right at Poitier, or
• If coming from the N / NE pick up the E 15 somewhere between Newcastle and London, take the E 402 at Calais to Rouen and pick up the E 05 and follow the instructions above.
With either, should you arrive at Algeciras, on the South coast of Spain, you missed the turning at Poitier!!
Or if you’re feeling very adventurous – mind you you’ll have to be very quick to find a Higgs, she’s back at the weekend in the UK!!, you can take an “E” road to China, which reminds me of that well-known Yorkshire saying – Ee by gum!! But enough frivolity, before her indoors starts to tell me I’m rambling – as if!!!
We’re back this missive looking at The Chronicle and picking up on some of the themes mentioned last time and here again to remind you:
Writings / Poems / House / Garden / Menus / Postcards – Letters / Projects / New Words / Flowers and Trees / Animals and Birds / Sketches / Descriptions / Planting advice / People / Food / Miscellaneous ~ not forgetting a section on St Laurent, that was added later.
New Words
The plan here was to really learn French, and despite certainly only being a little nearer to being able to hold a conversation, we did this evening talk to Mickaël the local farmer about his recent holiday and discovered that he had visited Limonsin, where it was very hilly, very beautiful, thickly wooded and green, and he had had a good time fishing amongst other things! We were also able to tell him that we are about to go away for five nights in the caravan a little way down the coast at Royan, then coming back for ten days or so, before returning to England for about a month. This is slightly longer than intended, but we need to fit in seeing Victoria on her return from China, my Mum and Dad, Linda’s family in York, a trip to Stroud (Daniel and Lisa and anyone else), a family gathering one weekend, a conference another and one or two people and places in between! So it’s a bit of a case of “ici, la et partout!” Perhaps some of the words are rubbing off and we are getting a little better!! Then, earlier today we met a very chatty French couple who moved into St Laurent at about the same time as we did and who always pass the time of day if we bump into each other. They speak no English but we managed to say that Linda was going home to make jam in the jars we had just bought and I joked that I was going to sit down with a coffee and watch. I went on to say that I was going to be in the garden in the hot sunshine and realising that they might think I was going to sunbathe, managed to make sure they realised it was to work in the garden – something that they can relate to as they have a fantastic show of flowers in their garden.
So, although perhaps we are not dreaming in French, apparently a sure sign that you’ve finally got it, we are at least beginning to get there!!
Then, there have been the “Clever Words” series in the last few missives, featuring some of my collection of quotes and sayings that I am constantly adding to, as I have discovered does Monsieur (M.) from the chateau, who when he discovered this said to me “But, you and I are like twins!!” (it was the second or third coincidence of our conversation!), but I pointed out that he in fact lives in the big house and I live in the small one at the end of the drive, not now, but previously the servant’s quarters! Talking about M. brings me neatly to another somewhat strange learning of new words!
M. popped around the other day firstly to invite us out to lunch, and knowing about my photographic exploits, to ask if I would be able to take some photographs of some of his family portraits that hang in the chateau, in order for him to email them to a cousin who is compiling a family history. Some hours later, and a couple of cups of coffee, as seems to be the case when we chat, I returned home downloaded the photographs from my camera, where necessary “fixed” them by cropping or manipulating the exposure / colour and sent them to M. by email. I thought I should explain what I had done and why there were two of some of the pictures and not others, but was a little concerned that although his spoken English is excellent, his reading of English might not be, so decided to use a translation site to translate my message into Spanish, M’s chosen language despite him being a Frenchman!! There followed a number of exchanges in English and Spanish about these and some subsequent photographs, and suddenly it dawned on me, that having come to France to learn French, I was now conversing with a Frenchman in Spanish!!! Now whenever he sees me, apart from flinging his arms in the air and shouting “Olé Olé Olé” he spouts forth whole streams of Spanish as though miraculously I have become fluent overnight!! But, and it’s a large but, I can now visit a Spanish disco and confidently ask the DJ for one of my favourite songs by Chris de Burgh ~ la señora en rojo! Aarrh, sounds so much more seductive and evocative than simply: Lady in Red!!!
Almost as bizarrely one of our recent guests added considerably to my knowledge of the Australian language. Some years ago my children’s Secondary Headteacher (I shall name no names!) who had worked for some time in Australia, told me that whilst there, she had spent much of her time wearing rubber thongs!! I was mightily relieved that she didn’t say “only wearing” and even more relieved to find that the “garment” was not what I had immediately thought, but rather the very practical and obvious Australian name for flip – flops, interestingly often called thongs now in France!! Then, a recent visitor, who will also remain nameless, but interestingly another Headteacher, Primary this time and due to retire at Christmas (you and no doubt many others know who you are!!) asked me if I knew what the Australians call Speedos swimming trunks. Having to admit that I didn’t, and slightly alerted by my previous knowledge of the language, I wasn’t surprised when he informed me that they call them “budgie smugglers!!” Several times during his visit he was heard to mutter with a giggle “budgie smugglers!!,” (perhaps it’s for the best that he’s retiring!!) until his wife, obviously getting tired of hearing the term, said she didn’t know why he kept saying this as he didn’t have much of a budgie for his Speedos!! - what a put down, but he didn’t say it again!!
Our patch “St Laurent” and not so far away!
Our patch! : Games afternoon / Presentation ~ We have basically said that wherever possible we will attend village functions and show our faces and try to talk to some of the longer standing St Laurentians. So it was that we attended this social afternoon on a recent Bank Holiday and also our new English friends who live just around the corner had entered and won the best garden prize for an old house and we felt we should support them.
So it was that we arrived at the designated time, shook hands with a lot of people as is customary in France, watched M. le Maire and his friends playing a local game called Palette, where you throw small metal discs at a target lain out on the ground, trying to work out the rules which weren’t as simple as we first thought! When it became obvious that we were not going to be invited to join in, we joined the women and children inside playing board games (at one point I was the sole man!!) and played a game of Triominoes (three sided dominoes) with a group of older women, one of whom we had met before and who obviously felt that she knew us well, as she took great delight in correcting one of her cronies about where we lived!!
Then it was into the hall for a “verre amité” – a glass of friendship – and huge slices of one of the local specialities, brioche, a rich soft buttery bread! Then the prize winners were presented with lovely pot plants together with much merriment. A good time was had by all, and with seemingly little regard for the drive home!!
Ploughing match ~ This took place on the same day as one of the events below, but as it was local as I said above, we put in an appearance. The event was an all day affair, with novices in the morning, lunch and drinks for the competitors and the main event scheduled for 14.30, at which time we dutifully arrived. Having been here in France as long as we have, we should have known better, as lunch was still well and truly underway, and other than a fairly impressive line of about 15 enormous tractors, varying in age but all supporting a mammoth seven furrow reversible plough shaft, we were the only spectators who had arrived and stood around trying to look both knowledgeable, nonchalant and inconspicuous! Well, over half an hour later there was a flurry of excitement, as the competitors (average age about 16 who hopefully hadn’t been partaking!), leapt into the waiting tractors, started them with a roar and with a total disregard for health and safety zoomed off to predetermined stations dotted around the field, their large shiny and heavy ploughs waving precariously behind them and at times rather close to the now thronging masses who had either now finished lunch or had read 15.30, for the publicised 14.30, due to previous experience!!
That was as exciting as it got, as when in position, very much in their own time, the competitors spent some time measuring, marking up and psyching up, excruciatingly slowly did a marker strip up and down, before doing more measuring and waiting for the judges to mark the first bits!! Despite a small beer, the lack of excitement was just too much and we decided to call it a day and visit pastures new, in the hope of some exhilaration! To this day we don’t know who won, but as we left we noticed that there were so many trophies that everyone would appear able to win something, even if as a spectator sport is was akin to watching paint dry!! I also mused about how the enormous tractors would get home that night as the competitors were too young to drive them on the road and their “co-drivers” seemingly in most cases parents, there to advice, help with the measuring, cast knowing looks and unsuccessfully hide disappointment due to their body language, had spent lunchtime and the periods of time between each round of judging propping up the bar!
Not so far away! : Fête de le Blé et la Terre ~ Having left the paint drying, we went off in search of excitement and it might seem incredible, but we found it amongst the sheaves and ears of the Wheat and Soil Fete! This took place in the next village to ours and as we had passed through the village over the previous few weeks the activity had been promising as signs appeared first, then a collection of old farm implements, then staging, fencing and all the trappings of excitement!!
And indeed as I said, when we arrived there was excitement aplenty, with the throngs of people being entertained by a large band of “enthusiasts” dressed as old (as in times gone by!) farmers, although in the case of the man who appeared to be the “main man,” obviously an old retired farmer. He appeared to own much of the vintage equipment both on static display and at work, as he spent the whole time walking proudly around, big smile on his weather beaten face, or overseeing the various demonstrations of the old farming equipment, at least on one occasion with a glass of wine in his hand. The displays and demonstrations were impressive, not least as they traced the journey of wheat from the ploughing and sowing to harvesting and threshing using a variety of old-fashioned machines, with a total disregard for health and safety – large unguarded fly wheels flying, belts spinning at alarming speed, large prongs forking up the straw in close proximity to people’s heads and fingers close to the hoppers feeding in the stalks of grain. You’ve got the idea – unadulterated fun and not a safety garment in sight.
We were having so much fun and it was a lovely warm evening, that we stayed quite simply till the party was over, the evening entertainment being a concert of Vendée based up and coming or semi-professional acts, who by and large were very entertaining and usually reached the high notes. Two performers however, stood out from the rest a lady singer with her own fan club (her teenage son shouting the loudest!) and a quite simply breath-taking piano accordion player, not a dry eye in the house, who can’t have been older than fourteen!!! He had the place in uproar and almost silenced the compere, who certainly liked the sound of his own voice!!
But, the entertainment also continued on the field away from the stage, as it seemed that the only way out for all the exhibits, including a couple of very large cows, was between all the stalls and finally, with a sharp turn between the bar and the arena around the stage, so as “electric” accordion playing and Edith Piaf songs warbled from the stage large tractors and trailers, steam engines and more did battle with the crowds and the low slung electricity cables on their way home after a highly successful and thoroughly entertaining day!! More than made up for the après home decorating experience of earlier in the day!!
Music dans la Rue de la Loge & Luçon night will have to come next time as time and space are running out rapidly!
People
As I said before obviously one person, a certain Monsieur, has featured a lot in previous missives and I can’t let a recent encounter go unrecorded! A couple of days previously he had told us that the egrets had returned and were “hanging like grapes” from the trees at the far side of the largest of his three lakes, and he thought they would make a great photograph. He even said he had thought about phoning to tell us, but didn’t like to disturb us!
So the next morning I suggested to Linda we went to see if they were there, as the sun was in the best position for a good photograph. As we set off out of our yard, we met Monsieur who had ventured out to check his post box, which is on the post on the other side of the road, underneath ours and both underneath a large old oak tree. He was wearing a garment that I had noticed him wearing recently, particularly as on one or two mornings there has been a definite autumnal chill to the air – a black hoodie!! After chatting for a few minutes, we told him where we were going and he asked if we would mind if he walked with us, so we set off down the road to enter the park by the back gate as we usually do when M. is in residence. By now the sun was creeping up in the sky and warming up, so M. put up the hood to keep the sun off his head, as he has even less hair than I do!!
As many of our conversations revolve around scoundrels and rogues, I thought it opportune to tell him that dressed as he was he would be refused entry into many shops in the UK as hoodies are associated with young “ner do wells!” Appreciating the joke he was still a little puzzled as to the implications, but I suppose that France has just banned the burka, so the French are not adverse to a bit of “clothing control!” We continued around the corner and despite entering the shadow of the trees, M. continued to walk with his hood up! As we crossed the end of the area that he calls his flower meadow, we spotted an empty beer bottle, where no beer bottle had been a few days previously and some way inside M. private property.
M. was concerned that it meant someone who shouldn’t have been, had been into the park and conversation turned once more to how he would like live CCTV whilst living in Spain to keep an eye on the place. Then, he decided to pick up the bottle to take it home for recycled and proceeded to carry it in a fashion that looked as though he was about to take a swig!! I told him that this made him look even more like a scoundrel or a rogue, and quick as a flash he retorted that didn’t we realise he led a double life (the irony being that on several fronts this is actually true!!), sometimes the respectable Count living graciously in the Chateau, but at other times he led an altogether darker more sinister life of drink and debauchery, and this from someone who had told us they didn’t drink!! (But here we were to discover there really was another side, involving drink if not the debauchery!! But that’s another story!!) He then carried the bottle like that all the way on our walk back up passed the Chateau, where he put the bottle down by the inner gates, the hood now down, the charming immaculately mannered Count had returned and as such must escort his such amiable charming English companions out through the main gates after so delightful a walk!!
Food
Or I suppose this should be Food Map, an “offshoot project” (see I can still put out the jargon!!) based on food but feeding into the kitchen initially at least!! In my many wanderings, be it a stroll around the park after supper or a more serious twelve miler, I am forever coming across food growing wild in the hedgerow, in the woods or wherever. So it seemed logical to make a note of where the best finds could be had, particularly as on one occasion we collected some very second rate sweet chestnuts before I stumbled across a sunken lane that seemed to be sinking even more under the thick carpet of nuts that covered the track – so much so that poor Max had real problems negotiating a pain-free path! But, these gleanings were fantastic and I improvised a bulk chestnut roaster as we had so many. So in the next month or two, when this year’s chestnuts are ready, this lane will be our first port of call hoping that “lighting strikes twice!!”
Now the list of ditch food, as we have started to call it, has grown to epic proportions. My mother phoned one night in the middle of our tea and wondered what we were having, when I said ditch apple pie, she said what’s that and a new term was hatched! Indeed, now each of the sites is being added to a map so we know where to go as each item comes into season, hoping this year they are as good as last!!. Now often the “treasures” that I bring home are of an edible variety!!
“Ici devant nous!”
Jumping frogs “ain’t got nothing” when it comes to the jumping stakes, a mere 25 times their body length just paled into insignificance!! Walking over to the garden a few days ago, a small something leapt into the air and travelled an amazing distance before coming down to earth. Closer inspection revealed it to be a light green / brown coloured cricket / grasshopper like creature about 3 cm long. And then a quick measure of the jump came out at 2 ½ metres or 250 cm, which a quick calculation will tell you is 83 times the creatures own body length, or to go back to the analogy of the last missive and the now less than springy frog, like a 1.8 m person jumping about 150 metres – now that would be impressive and rewrite the Olympic record books, and make the drug test team twitchy!!!
But keeping on the jumping theme, how do you get a large black dog (Tottoon) to jump vertically three feet into the air!?! The answer is quite simply sent her off down the path in front, so that it is her that stands on the four foot plus black and vivid yellow snake that just happens to be basking in the late summer sunshine. Having jumped high into the air, a quick glance and a tentative sniff persuaded her that it was best left alone. Alerted, we crept forward and were surprised that the offending creative had stuck its ground and was in no hurry to go anywhere. Some quick and rather cautious photographs; how very useful telephoto lenses can be!!, and we made a large detour as the snake hurriedly slithered off into the undergrowth and we hurried off to look up this close encounter, partly out of interest, but also to be sure that we didn’t have to rush Tottoon off to the local vet, as we were looking after her that day!
As always the wonder of modern technology, in this case the internet, came up trumps and identified the snake as a Western Whip snake, not venomous but capable of giving a nasty bite and prone to be aggressive!! Even more thanks for telephoto lenses!! We also discovered that you tell if a snake is venomous by the shape of its eye; a round pupil means non-venomous and a slitty eye you have to watch out for! Well something to get someone else to check out for you, or again put the telephoto to good use!! When we discovered this piece of information Linda said well I could clearly see the eye was round – me? I wasn’t taking any chances and certainly wasn’t going to make a habit of staring a snake in the eyes to check, particularly as someone recently told me that being bitten by a grass snake, rather plentiful in these ‘ere parts, is about as painful as two wasp stings – ouch!!!
My original “thought!”
The French Mysteries I posed in Missive 16 have been solved!! Well, at least one and two halves of the seven I presented you with!! I make that 28.6% or nearly a third success rate, (plus temps sur mon mains and it’s good to keep the brain active!!) and not bad to start with!!
French Wood piles: Perhaps the most boring explanation and only part of the answer, is that in some cases the piles are owned by people who sell it on to the many people who are installing wood burners to beat the high price of oil, as is the case with the local farmer!! I have also decided that there is something of a status symbol in having a large neatly stacked pile of firewood – neatness as well as size does seem to be important!! Also, perhaps with the above section in mind, I’m tempted to wonder if the owners of the piles are a little worried about what might be lurking in the lower layers, and consequently keep adding to the pile so as not to get to the bottom and disturb wildlife that might have moved in!!
Céteaux meniere: Here my French Mistress sowed the seeds of an explanation, suggesting that my scribbled note perhaps related to something I had read on a menu or seen outside a restaurant as it bears a resemblance to the dish “sole or truite (trout) meunière.” Research in my fish book discovered that a fish a little like a baby Dover sole is called séteaux or cétaux in French, but my large French dictionary translates meunière as “Mistress of the Mill, Miller’s Wife or longtailed titmouse!” So what then are the possibilities: simply a sole / trout dish, this dish as devised by the miller’s mistress or wife, or a fish fillet stuffed with a titmouse – take your pick!!
BUT, French Sticks or Baguettes: still largely a mystery, although again my Mistress tried to help! Maybe, she thought, the people are catering on mass for a canteen such as for school dinners, but if this was the case I think the camionette de boulangerie (baker’s van) would deliver them! Then she thought maybe the leftovers could be used for a popular French dish – pain perdu or perhaps you might know it better as eggy bread!! But as she says, there’s a limit to how much of this you could eat, and none of the people are carrying large quantities of eggs, as well as the bread!!
Kind regards, Best Wishes and Love, Roger and Linda
And maybe to come next time? Who knows as we will have been away in the caravan for a few days, taken luncheon with Monsieur and spent half of the month back in “dear old blighty!!”
Dear All
Hopefully you will find Missive 21 attached, just in time for the end of the month, campsite technology permitting!?! We are currently having a few days away in the newly registered caravan, using up some camping cheques we had when we first came to France, so I’m relying on the campsite Wee Fee (or Wi Fi to the rest of you), again the wonders of modern technology!
We are staying on a site very close to the beach just south of Royan, at the mouth of the Gironde estuary. We are going home on Saturday, then have about 10 days before we return to England on the 15th September for about a month. Hopefully we will catch up with lots of you then, although we are as always flying “here, there and everywhere” around the country visiting family and friends. As things stand we are around Stroud the weekend of 18th September and maybe a couple of days later in the visit so may see some of you then.
It’s the jam / chutney making in earnest season at the moment, and we are rapidly running out of jars again. If we are likely to see you during our visit – ALL JAM JARS GRATEFULLY RECEIVED!!!
Love
Roger
rogerhiggs@hotmail.co.uk
Mes chers amis
More of “The Chronicle” ~ Missive 21
“There is a terrible English word, ‘sensible. I cannot bear this ‘sensible,’ it has nothing to do with the senses.”
Said by a Spanish Lover in Joanna Trollop’s book of the same name.
“It’s time to start living the life you’ve imagined.” Henry James.
To pick up briefly on the theme of “Finding the Higgs” (Missive 19), I have since we moved here sent our many visitors simplified routes of how to find us in the back of beyond. On all of these I tend to go by the names of the next destination and where I use road numbers issue a “public service announcement” suggesting that the road number may have a different letter prefixing it or be totally different to what appears on the map or the number I suggest!!. Indeed, the French road numbering system remains to me, and many others, another of France’s mysteries (see below). But read on – finding us couldn’t be easier!!
It was therefore no surprise to find the following line in an article in The French Paper, a relatively new and rather interesting English language newspaper: “French road numbering is unsystematic and can be very confusing (!)” But the same article goes on to explain “E” numbers, not those in processed food that have in some cases the reputation of sending children totally doolally!!, but rather the United Nations international E – road network.
Basically, if you are trying to get to us from the SW:
• Pick up the E 05 at Oxford and turn right at Poitier, or
• If coming from the N / NE pick up the E 15 somewhere between Newcastle and London, take the E 402 at Calais to Rouen and pick up the E 05 and follow the instructions above.
With either, should you arrive at Algeciras, on the South coast of Spain, you missed the turning at Poitier!!
Or if you’re feeling very adventurous – mind you you’ll have to be very quick to find a Higgs, she’s back at the weekend in the UK!!, you can take an “E” road to China, which reminds me of that well-known Yorkshire saying – Ee by gum!! But enough frivolity, before her indoors starts to tell me I’m rambling – as if!!!
We’re back this missive looking at The Chronicle and picking up on some of the themes mentioned last time and here again to remind you:
Writings / Poems / House / Garden / Menus / Postcards – Letters / Projects / New Words / Flowers and Trees / Animals and Birds / Sketches / Descriptions / Planting advice / People / Food / Miscellaneous ~ not forgetting a section on St Laurent, that was added later.
New Words
The plan here was to really learn French, and despite certainly only being a little nearer to being able to hold a conversation, we did this evening talk to Mickaël the local farmer about his recent holiday and discovered that he had visited Limonsin, where it was very hilly, very beautiful, thickly wooded and green, and he had had a good time fishing amongst other things! We were also able to tell him that we are about to go away for five nights in the caravan a little way down the coast at Royan, then coming back for ten days or so, before returning to England for about a month. This is slightly longer than intended, but we need to fit in seeing Victoria on her return from China, my Mum and Dad, Linda’s family in York, a trip to Stroud (Daniel and Lisa and anyone else), a family gathering one weekend, a conference another and one or two people and places in between! So it’s a bit of a case of “ici, la et partout!” Perhaps some of the words are rubbing off and we are getting a little better!! Then, earlier today we met a very chatty French couple who moved into St Laurent at about the same time as we did and who always pass the time of day if we bump into each other. They speak no English but we managed to say that Linda was going home to make jam in the jars we had just bought and I joked that I was going to sit down with a coffee and watch. I went on to say that I was going to be in the garden in the hot sunshine and realising that they might think I was going to sunbathe, managed to make sure they realised it was to work in the garden – something that they can relate to as they have a fantastic show of flowers in their garden.
So, although perhaps we are not dreaming in French, apparently a sure sign that you’ve finally got it, we are at least beginning to get there!!
Then, there have been the “Clever Words” series in the last few missives, featuring some of my collection of quotes and sayings that I am constantly adding to, as I have discovered does Monsieur (M.) from the chateau, who when he discovered this said to me “But, you and I are like twins!!” (it was the second or third coincidence of our conversation!), but I pointed out that he in fact lives in the big house and I live in the small one at the end of the drive, not now, but previously the servant’s quarters! Talking about M. brings me neatly to another somewhat strange learning of new words!
M. popped around the other day firstly to invite us out to lunch, and knowing about my photographic exploits, to ask if I would be able to take some photographs of some of his family portraits that hang in the chateau, in order for him to email them to a cousin who is compiling a family history. Some hours later, and a couple of cups of coffee, as seems to be the case when we chat, I returned home downloaded the photographs from my camera, where necessary “fixed” them by cropping or manipulating the exposure / colour and sent them to M. by email. I thought I should explain what I had done and why there were two of some of the pictures and not others, but was a little concerned that although his spoken English is excellent, his reading of English might not be, so decided to use a translation site to translate my message into Spanish, M’s chosen language despite him being a Frenchman!! There followed a number of exchanges in English and Spanish about these and some subsequent photographs, and suddenly it dawned on me, that having come to France to learn French, I was now conversing with a Frenchman in Spanish!!! Now whenever he sees me, apart from flinging his arms in the air and shouting “Olé Olé Olé” he spouts forth whole streams of Spanish as though miraculously I have become fluent overnight!! But, and it’s a large but, I can now visit a Spanish disco and confidently ask the DJ for one of my favourite songs by Chris de Burgh ~ la señora en rojo! Aarrh, sounds so much more seductive and evocative than simply: Lady in Red!!!
Almost as bizarrely one of our recent guests added considerably to my knowledge of the Australian language. Some years ago my children’s Secondary Headteacher (I shall name no names!) who had worked for some time in Australia, told me that whilst there, she had spent much of her time wearing rubber thongs!! I was mightily relieved that she didn’t say “only wearing” and even more relieved to find that the “garment” was not what I had immediately thought, but rather the very practical and obvious Australian name for flip – flops, interestingly often called thongs now in France!! Then, a recent visitor, who will also remain nameless, but interestingly another Headteacher, Primary this time and due to retire at Christmas (you and no doubt many others know who you are!!) asked me if I knew what the Australians call Speedos swimming trunks. Having to admit that I didn’t, and slightly alerted by my previous knowledge of the language, I wasn’t surprised when he informed me that they call them “budgie smugglers!!” Several times during his visit he was heard to mutter with a giggle “budgie smugglers!!,” (perhaps it’s for the best that he’s retiring!!) until his wife, obviously getting tired of hearing the term, said she didn’t know why he kept saying this as he didn’t have much of a budgie for his Speedos!! - what a put down, but he didn’t say it again!!
Our patch “St Laurent” and not so far away!
Our patch! : Games afternoon / Presentation ~ We have basically said that wherever possible we will attend village functions and show our faces and try to talk to some of the longer standing St Laurentians. So it was that we attended this social afternoon on a recent Bank Holiday and also our new English friends who live just around the corner had entered and won the best garden prize for an old house and we felt we should support them.
So it was that we arrived at the designated time, shook hands with a lot of people as is customary in France, watched M. le Maire and his friends playing a local game called Palette, where you throw small metal discs at a target lain out on the ground, trying to work out the rules which weren’t as simple as we first thought! When it became obvious that we were not going to be invited to join in, we joined the women and children inside playing board games (at one point I was the sole man!!) and played a game of Triominoes (three sided dominoes) with a group of older women, one of whom we had met before and who obviously felt that she knew us well, as she took great delight in correcting one of her cronies about where we lived!!
Then it was into the hall for a “verre amité” – a glass of friendship – and huge slices of one of the local specialities, brioche, a rich soft buttery bread! Then the prize winners were presented with lovely pot plants together with much merriment. A good time was had by all, and with seemingly little regard for the drive home!!
Ploughing match ~ This took place on the same day as one of the events below, but as it was local as I said above, we put in an appearance. The event was an all day affair, with novices in the morning, lunch and drinks for the competitors and the main event scheduled for 14.30, at which time we dutifully arrived. Having been here in France as long as we have, we should have known better, as lunch was still well and truly underway, and other than a fairly impressive line of about 15 enormous tractors, varying in age but all supporting a mammoth seven furrow reversible plough shaft, we were the only spectators who had arrived and stood around trying to look both knowledgeable, nonchalant and inconspicuous! Well, over half an hour later there was a flurry of excitement, as the competitors (average age about 16 who hopefully hadn’t been partaking!), leapt into the waiting tractors, started them with a roar and with a total disregard for health and safety zoomed off to predetermined stations dotted around the field, their large shiny and heavy ploughs waving precariously behind them and at times rather close to the now thronging masses who had either now finished lunch or had read 15.30, for the publicised 14.30, due to previous experience!!
That was as exciting as it got, as when in position, very much in their own time, the competitors spent some time measuring, marking up and psyching up, excruciatingly slowly did a marker strip up and down, before doing more measuring and waiting for the judges to mark the first bits!! Despite a small beer, the lack of excitement was just too much and we decided to call it a day and visit pastures new, in the hope of some exhilaration! To this day we don’t know who won, but as we left we noticed that there were so many trophies that everyone would appear able to win something, even if as a spectator sport is was akin to watching paint dry!! I also mused about how the enormous tractors would get home that night as the competitors were too young to drive them on the road and their “co-drivers” seemingly in most cases parents, there to advice, help with the measuring, cast knowing looks and unsuccessfully hide disappointment due to their body language, had spent lunchtime and the periods of time between each round of judging propping up the bar!
Not so far away! : Fête de le Blé et la Terre ~ Having left the paint drying, we went off in search of excitement and it might seem incredible, but we found it amongst the sheaves and ears of the Wheat and Soil Fete! This took place in the next village to ours and as we had passed through the village over the previous few weeks the activity had been promising as signs appeared first, then a collection of old farm implements, then staging, fencing and all the trappings of excitement!!
And indeed as I said, when we arrived there was excitement aplenty, with the throngs of people being entertained by a large band of “enthusiasts” dressed as old (as in times gone by!) farmers, although in the case of the man who appeared to be the “main man,” obviously an old retired farmer. He appeared to own much of the vintage equipment both on static display and at work, as he spent the whole time walking proudly around, big smile on his weather beaten face, or overseeing the various demonstrations of the old farming equipment, at least on one occasion with a glass of wine in his hand. The displays and demonstrations were impressive, not least as they traced the journey of wheat from the ploughing and sowing to harvesting and threshing using a variety of old-fashioned machines, with a total disregard for health and safety – large unguarded fly wheels flying, belts spinning at alarming speed, large prongs forking up the straw in close proximity to people’s heads and fingers close to the hoppers feeding in the stalks of grain. You’ve got the idea – unadulterated fun and not a safety garment in sight.
We were having so much fun and it was a lovely warm evening, that we stayed quite simply till the party was over, the evening entertainment being a concert of Vendée based up and coming or semi-professional acts, who by and large were very entertaining and usually reached the high notes. Two performers however, stood out from the rest a lady singer with her own fan club (her teenage son shouting the loudest!) and a quite simply breath-taking piano accordion player, not a dry eye in the house, who can’t have been older than fourteen!!! He had the place in uproar and almost silenced the compere, who certainly liked the sound of his own voice!!
But, the entertainment also continued on the field away from the stage, as it seemed that the only way out for all the exhibits, including a couple of very large cows, was between all the stalls and finally, with a sharp turn between the bar and the arena around the stage, so as “electric” accordion playing and Edith Piaf songs warbled from the stage large tractors and trailers, steam engines and more did battle with the crowds and the low slung electricity cables on their way home after a highly successful and thoroughly entertaining day!! More than made up for the après home decorating experience of earlier in the day!!
Music dans la Rue de la Loge & Luçon night will have to come next time as time and space are running out rapidly!
People
As I said before obviously one person, a certain Monsieur, has featured a lot in previous missives and I can’t let a recent encounter go unrecorded! A couple of days previously he had told us that the egrets had returned and were “hanging like grapes” from the trees at the far side of the largest of his three lakes, and he thought they would make a great photograph. He even said he had thought about phoning to tell us, but didn’t like to disturb us!
So the next morning I suggested to Linda we went to see if they were there, as the sun was in the best position for a good photograph. As we set off out of our yard, we met Monsieur who had ventured out to check his post box, which is on the post on the other side of the road, underneath ours and both underneath a large old oak tree. He was wearing a garment that I had noticed him wearing recently, particularly as on one or two mornings there has been a definite autumnal chill to the air – a black hoodie!! After chatting for a few minutes, we told him where we were going and he asked if we would mind if he walked with us, so we set off down the road to enter the park by the back gate as we usually do when M. is in residence. By now the sun was creeping up in the sky and warming up, so M. put up the hood to keep the sun off his head, as he has even less hair than I do!!
As many of our conversations revolve around scoundrels and rogues, I thought it opportune to tell him that dressed as he was he would be refused entry into many shops in the UK as hoodies are associated with young “ner do wells!” Appreciating the joke he was still a little puzzled as to the implications, but I suppose that France has just banned the burka, so the French are not adverse to a bit of “clothing control!” We continued around the corner and despite entering the shadow of the trees, M. continued to walk with his hood up! As we crossed the end of the area that he calls his flower meadow, we spotted an empty beer bottle, where no beer bottle had been a few days previously and some way inside M. private property.
M. was concerned that it meant someone who shouldn’t have been, had been into the park and conversation turned once more to how he would like live CCTV whilst living in Spain to keep an eye on the place. Then, he decided to pick up the bottle to take it home for recycled and proceeded to carry it in a fashion that looked as though he was about to take a swig!! I told him that this made him look even more like a scoundrel or a rogue, and quick as a flash he retorted that didn’t we realise he led a double life (the irony being that on several fronts this is actually true!!), sometimes the respectable Count living graciously in the Chateau, but at other times he led an altogether darker more sinister life of drink and debauchery, and this from someone who had told us they didn’t drink!! (But here we were to discover there really was another side, involving drink if not the debauchery!! But that’s another story!!) He then carried the bottle like that all the way on our walk back up passed the Chateau, where he put the bottle down by the inner gates, the hood now down, the charming immaculately mannered Count had returned and as such must escort his such amiable charming English companions out through the main gates after so delightful a walk!!
Food
Or I suppose this should be Food Map, an “offshoot project” (see I can still put out the jargon!!) based on food but feeding into the kitchen initially at least!! In my many wanderings, be it a stroll around the park after supper or a more serious twelve miler, I am forever coming across food growing wild in the hedgerow, in the woods or wherever. So it seemed logical to make a note of where the best finds could be had, particularly as on one occasion we collected some very second rate sweet chestnuts before I stumbled across a sunken lane that seemed to be sinking even more under the thick carpet of nuts that covered the track – so much so that poor Max had real problems negotiating a pain-free path! But, these gleanings were fantastic and I improvised a bulk chestnut roaster as we had so many. So in the next month or two, when this year’s chestnuts are ready, this lane will be our first port of call hoping that “lighting strikes twice!!”
Now the list of ditch food, as we have started to call it, has grown to epic proportions. My mother phoned one night in the middle of our tea and wondered what we were having, when I said ditch apple pie, she said what’s that and a new term was hatched! Indeed, now each of the sites is being added to a map so we know where to go as each item comes into season, hoping this year they are as good as last!!. Now often the “treasures” that I bring home are of an edible variety!!
“Ici devant nous!”
Jumping frogs “ain’t got nothing” when it comes to the jumping stakes, a mere 25 times their body length just paled into insignificance!! Walking over to the garden a few days ago, a small something leapt into the air and travelled an amazing distance before coming down to earth. Closer inspection revealed it to be a light green / brown coloured cricket / grasshopper like creature about 3 cm long. And then a quick measure of the jump came out at 2 ½ metres or 250 cm, which a quick calculation will tell you is 83 times the creatures own body length, or to go back to the analogy of the last missive and the now less than springy frog, like a 1.8 m person jumping about 150 metres – now that would be impressive and rewrite the Olympic record books, and make the drug test team twitchy!!!
But keeping on the jumping theme, how do you get a large black dog (Tottoon) to jump vertically three feet into the air!?! The answer is quite simply sent her off down the path in front, so that it is her that stands on the four foot plus black and vivid yellow snake that just happens to be basking in the late summer sunshine. Having jumped high into the air, a quick glance and a tentative sniff persuaded her that it was best left alone. Alerted, we crept forward and were surprised that the offending creative had stuck its ground and was in no hurry to go anywhere. Some quick and rather cautious photographs; how very useful telephoto lenses can be!!, and we made a large detour as the snake hurriedly slithered off into the undergrowth and we hurried off to look up this close encounter, partly out of interest, but also to be sure that we didn’t have to rush Tottoon off to the local vet, as we were looking after her that day!
As always the wonder of modern technology, in this case the internet, came up trumps and identified the snake as a Western Whip snake, not venomous but capable of giving a nasty bite and prone to be aggressive!! Even more thanks for telephoto lenses!! We also discovered that you tell if a snake is venomous by the shape of its eye; a round pupil means non-venomous and a slitty eye you have to watch out for! Well something to get someone else to check out for you, or again put the telephoto to good use!! When we discovered this piece of information Linda said well I could clearly see the eye was round – me? I wasn’t taking any chances and certainly wasn’t going to make a habit of staring a snake in the eyes to check, particularly as someone recently told me that being bitten by a grass snake, rather plentiful in these ‘ere parts, is about as painful as two wasp stings – ouch!!!
My original “thought!”
The French Mysteries I posed in Missive 16 have been solved!! Well, at least one and two halves of the seven I presented you with!! I make that 28.6% or nearly a third success rate, (plus temps sur mon mains and it’s good to keep the brain active!!) and not bad to start with!!
French Wood piles: Perhaps the most boring explanation and only part of the answer, is that in some cases the piles are owned by people who sell it on to the many people who are installing wood burners to beat the high price of oil, as is the case with the local farmer!! I have also decided that there is something of a status symbol in having a large neatly stacked pile of firewood – neatness as well as size does seem to be important!! Also, perhaps with the above section in mind, I’m tempted to wonder if the owners of the piles are a little worried about what might be lurking in the lower layers, and consequently keep adding to the pile so as not to get to the bottom and disturb wildlife that might have moved in!!
Céteaux meniere: Here my French Mistress sowed the seeds of an explanation, suggesting that my scribbled note perhaps related to something I had read on a menu or seen outside a restaurant as it bears a resemblance to the dish “sole or truite (trout) meunière.” Research in my fish book discovered that a fish a little like a baby Dover sole is called séteaux or cétaux in French, but my large French dictionary translates meunière as “Mistress of the Mill, Miller’s Wife or longtailed titmouse!” So what then are the possibilities: simply a sole / trout dish, this dish as devised by the miller’s mistress or wife, or a fish fillet stuffed with a titmouse – take your pick!!
BUT, French Sticks or Baguettes: still largely a mystery, although again my Mistress tried to help! Maybe, she thought, the people are catering on mass for a canteen such as for school dinners, but if this was the case I think the camionette de boulangerie (baker’s van) would deliver them! Then she thought maybe the leftovers could be used for a popular French dish – pain perdu or perhaps you might know it better as eggy bread!! But as she says, there’s a limit to how much of this you could eat, and none of the people are carrying large quantities of eggs, as well as the bread!!
Kind regards, Best Wishes and Love, Roger and Linda
And maybe to come next time? Who knows as we will have been away in the caravan for a few days, taken luncheon with Monsieur and spent half of the month back in “dear old blighty!!”
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