Bad Call

La Rochelle is probably the most cosmopolitan and upmarket seaside town within striking distance of our house and during the summer much of Paris shifts there for the season and indeed on one memorable autumn Saturday, it was invaded by hoards of Cherry and White (Gloucester Rugby Club) supporters, in town for a game against La Rochelle – but that’s another story that has been told elsewhere!  But back to the summer exodus from the French capital, which is reflected in the many chic boutiques and upmarket shops that out of season either close down or are largely devoid of customers, with their glamorous or handsome “designer” assistants draped wearily over the counter awaiting the sunshine, whilst manicuring their nails – men and women alike!

That said, we like nothing more than to stroll around its ancient streets, particularly early or late in the season when the weather is fair and the crowds have largely gone, admiring the architecture particularly the streets of old merchants houses, fronted by arched walkways which are great, during the summer, as retreats from the blazing sunshine.  And indeed there is a certain buzz all year round at the weekends, particularly Sunday when the French like to luncheon out.

Then there are the harbours, starting in the first basin where there are the tourist boats that ply their trade between some of the nearby islands, ferry people to the other side of the river, take trips around the inlet or further afield to circumnavigate a Martello type tower built out in the sea to previously defend the harbours of Île d’Aix and Rochefort, but now owned by France 2, a French TV channel.  It is called Fort Boyard, which is also apparently the name of a popular TV game show, similar I’m told to The Crystal Maze.  Some of you with satellite / cable TV may be familiar with the show, which has a UK spin off? (Once more thank you Wikipedia!).  This tidal harbour is also home to smaller yachts and motor launches, which seem in many cases to be actually used, I guess largely as day boats to potter up and down the immediate coastline!  The next harbour, with the water held back by lock gates as the tide falls, is more upmarket with medium sized but highly priced ocean going vessels, which sometimes do, but seem often to be nothing more than a status symbol and a handy place to entertain and impress one’s friends with sleeping accommodation right in the heart of town!

After this you pass through a recent development of weather boarded, Scandinavian-style terraced chalets, painted pastel colours and containing shops, restaurants, bars, hotels, accommodation and the tourist office, beyond which is the Maritime museum and the “big boys!” a mixture of corporate yachts, yachts owned by foundations such as one aimed at giving underprivileged youngsters an experience of a lifetime and those owned by people where money means nothing and a crew are always on standby to sail wherever is required, some I guess being capable of going just about anywhere in the world!

Well, that’s the bit of La Rochelle we know, as well as the market area – daily markets in the old market hall that spill out into the surrounding streets, but to visit them means an early start as they are all over by lunchtime! 

It was on one of our leisurely strolls, with friends after a leisurely lunch in our “favourite of the moment” harbour side restaurant that we came across a line of boats for sale, lined up on the water much like second hand cars are lined up on a garage forecourt. I like to look, but it never ceases to amaze me just how expensive boats are and that’s before the annual maintenance and anchorage charges – certainly it would take many nights in a nearby luxury hotel, with en suite and king-size bed that doesn’t pitch and toss, well not involuntarily!, to come up to the price of even the more modest of vessels.  It was however, then that I espied a small fast looking speed boat at the end of the line.  It had seen better days, and was certainly in need of much tender loving care, but once I spotted the name the neglect and lack of a willing purchaser was explained.  I felt it was rather a bad call to name the boat “Tsunami” and it’s unlucky to rename a boat, so with events in the Pacific a few years before and in the wake of a terrible storm that just the previous winter had wreaked havoc and great loss of life along the nearby coast, prospects of a quick sale seemed remote!     

I suppose it would be a little like bringing out a new Porsche called a Porsche Carnage, which my friend reliably informed me is actually in full production – only I haven’t been able to track it down on the web!  I was only gullible enough to think it unlikely but still checked it out!!

However, my research did encounter some interesting worldwide products with unfortunate names:

·       “Pee Cola” drink and “Shitto” hot pepper sauce from Ghana

·       “Ayds” diets candy from the 1980’s

·       A Greek soft drink called “Zit,” and

·       “Swine” chocolate and “Pansy” men’s underwear from China,

And these were only the ones suitable to mention!